As those closest to me know, my dear father passed away in 2012 and I miss him dearly. Today would have been only his 62nd birthday!
Those even closer to me will remember that he was one of the most fiercely compassionate people they had ever met, emphasis on the word fierce because my dad was a fighter — there was never a fight he ever backed down from in his life. In addition to be a commodities broker, a capital markets analyst, a religious scholar and a rabbi — he spent countless hours volunteering, mentoring and teaching. It even seemed at times that he was kinder to even strangers than his own family — but this is of course my emotions peeking out as I remember this lion of a man and the legacy he left behind in the hearts of those he impacted.
Joseph Modeira lived for the concept of kindness.
It might as well have been his middle name. Bearing witness to the worst human emotions such as intolerance, selfishness and cruelty caused him a lot of heartache — it would drive him almost to the edge of rage.
He wore his emotions on his sleeve. He was a larger than life personality, impossible to forget if you had ever encountered him.
Perhaps from seeing how the human condition and human suffering things affected him so deeply, and maybe as a personal self-defense mechanism, I have always been far more Spockian and neutral in my outer disposition. But with every passing day as I get older, I understand him and some of his existential angst so much more than I did in my teens and in my 20s. And yes, I find even myself sometimes being driven to the edge of rage about the world around me. I finally understand how you felt, dear father. But I promise to channel it into good, because anger of itself is an emotion that can be very destructive and unproductive.
Kindness and Empathy are thankfully a growing theme and part of an ongoing cultural debate these days, as it is now impossible to not see the cracks in the surface, the inequities and inequalities in our modern society that need to be changed, changes that require a seeming apocalypse of consciousness (look out for a piece on this very phrase that I will be exploring later this year).
It just takes such little effort to have pathos, to be kind, to show compassion, going out of your way to make someone less fortunate than you smile, if even for just a fleeting moment.
I have found that the less I think about only myself, only my needs, my desires and my wants, and I place myself in someone else’s shoes, see their perspective, and give of myself expecting nothing in return — that is when I become the most happiest, this is when it is least possible for me to slip into depression or anxiety, and consequently it is when the most opportunities, fortunes and literal cash money comes my way.
It’s so profound, and of course people will agree and disagree with this post, but I just want you to think for a second, just for a second, about those moments when you have been kind, and how good that felt, and how much you received as a consequence.
I personally have left MILLIONS of dollars on the table over the last several years while running my digital agency and working in social marketing because of a mix of empathy and also foresight. I have done a ton of pro bono work where I would have loved to be immediately paid — but I knew the client or the company really needed the initiative and guidance, that a protracted negotiation around payment would have bogged down the launch of the entire project, and that if I was just patient and sucked it up, it would turn into this win-win situation for everyone involved and it would come back around full circle.
Be kind, show compassion, practice empathy, and think about playing the long game — and you will start winning like you never thought possible. You will be making the world around you a better place, with minimal effort other than some initial small “inconvenience” that you will barely remember in the future when people are getting in touch with you after hearing about the great work that you do and the depth of character that you possess.
